So many hours – nay, decades – have been spent arguing over the future and rightful ownership of Old Jerusalem. We are led to believe that not only the survival of the Israeli and Palestinian states are at stake but our spiritual salvation as well!
Daniel may have prophesied the reconstruction of Jerusalem, but Handy has the plan for unification:
Let Jerusalem be.
First of all, make Jerusalem a city-state, respected universally as sovereign, with the right to make it’s own decisions. (except as outlined below)
Let the freaks have it.
It’s the religious nuts who fight over it, so let them have it. There will be a transitional period just prior to statehood wherein anyone who wants to buy into Jerusalem can, and anyone who wants out can sell. The freaks will be flocking to your door, howling under the windows with fists full of cold cash. You’re gonna make a mill and move to Amsterdam.
Let Jerusalem be holy.
Jerusalem will be ruled by a council of religious leaders. Secular law will be prohibited. Christian, Jewish and Muslim clerics will form a council of rule. Law will comprise of the inclusion of all the religious laws combined. Yes, women will be covered and property of men. Yes, pig will not be palated. Yes, you will be forced to pray and do penance! Don’t like it? Sell now!
Keep them the hell away from me.
Jerusalem will be a demilitarized zone. No weapons of any kind will be allowed in. Jerusalem will not be permitted an army or even an armed police force. A passport will be required for international travel.
They’ll sort it out.
Will the freaks just get along? Definitely not. May I suggest the rest of the world conduct a humanitarian effort to extract all the innocents (women and children) before the menfolk have it out? It’s not going to be pretty in there but it shouldn’t last too long…
Voila! I’m Madonna! I’m Madonna! (Burn Hollywood Burn)
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