Leaving Going Nowhere


The pictures will need to be wrapped in plastic and blankets.  The speakers too, except the bottom of the pedestal. That way the speakers can be set upright. They can also be lain sideways, but be sure not to lay anything on top of the cones…

So he lay on the couch in the living room under a patchwork quilt, outlining how he would pack all his things and load them into a truck. Outside freezing rain pelted the glass with every gust of wind. The rumble of garbage trucks scraping snow plows through the dark streets resonated through the floor boards.

He had no plans to move, or even travel anywhere any time soon. Ironically, he’d never felt more present. He was up at 3am precisely because he was having a rare moment of clarity.  It was as though a disorienting lens which normally confused his eyes had been lifted. Everything seemed to stand still for the first time. He looked at the wall and there it was.  Things simply were what they were.

Yet there was a voice as well.

Furniture will need to be bubble wrapped. Probably no way to efficiently stack bubble wrapped chairs. The table will be a bitch.  Have to lay the blankets on the floor first. Even lay some twine or straps underneath to tie the blankets; because once the table top comes off it’s too heavy to lift again…

That voice was small and unobtrusive, but seemed necessary to the clarity that the rest of him experienced. It was as though the voice with the packing narrative was speaking softly in a small room, while the peaceful now-ness was resounding deep and hollow in the larger room next door.

The large room quickly played through how he had arrived here, in this place at this time. He remembered that the present moment was inevitable. He relaxed into the thought that there was no way to re-do what had been done, nothing new that needed doing. He remembered times he had argued that articulation was the only thing of value. He felt free of that now. Nothing had value. Inaction was completely respectable.

He looked at the wall and the book case.

Liquor store boxes are the best for books. Need to keep the book boxes small because they get heavy.  While packing best the have a Sharpie and label things. That way if you do get movers they’ll know where to put stuff…or at least keep all the books together. How do you pack dishes?

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